so how much do you miss porom? no doubt there's tons you wanna tell her

"I feel like I’m walking around without a leg… I mean, Porom and I were never connected at the hip. We have separate friends and separate lives, but I’m so used to being able to tell her stuff. Or just have her around. Someone to annoy when we’re both bored at work, or someone who eats my shitty burnt toast in the morning."

"…There’s so much I need to tell her, but I’m not even sure how to do so at this point. There are so many choices I’ve made by myself, that I would have sought her advice for, but…. I’m scared that she’ll be disappointed in me. Or that she’s still mad at me from before she left."

"But she’s my sister, and her being gone is like only having one lung. I can still breathe, but it is a hell of a lot easier to do so when she’s around."

Ask my muse painfully personal questions

(Source: guardianfelcia)

We were just children
Thrown into an adult war
And now we’re not kids


His arms around her slipped so silently, so softly, that her skin did not shiver at their touch. A moment between smeared tears and shallow breaths did her pores thaw and take in his warmth. She leaned into him, flaccid and slush, staring empty-eyed at the ceiling.

"If you need to go, then go."
"I love you."
"I won’t try to make you stay."

Suddenly, she could breath again— cool and heavy and whole. Her mind found pin drop silence. The grooves in the wooded ceiling popped with auburn and mahogany and cookie colored strokes. 

I don’t deserve you. You shouldn’t wait for me. I hope it doesn’t hurt…

"It’s better that I go," whispered Leonora, "before I ruin everything. I promise I’ll write. I love you— I love you so much.”

"Ok…" the ache set in quickly. She had to leave, and the more he drew things out, the worse he made it for her. He could hide his own pain for now, he could hold it back to smile for her and wish her well as she walked out the door.

I’m going to miss you so much…

He let her go. His arms reluctant to fall down to his sides. Keeping her in a cage, no matter how feeble of one, did neither of them any favors. Throat tightened, eyes stung, but Palom had never been much of a crier. He was a yeller, a sulker, a fire rather than a rainstorm. She was turning to ice in his hands.

"I love you too," he stated quietly. It was all he could say. "…Stay safe. Please…"


She pulled away and sat up, her face in her hands, her eyes behind her fingers. Pound, pound, pound. The moment was not real. She was still dreaming. Morning would approach and this world would disappear. She sobbed and shook her head, turning away, leaning over the bedside. Her shoulders slumped.

I can’t let myself be chained to this. It’s going to break. You’ll move on. You should. You haveto…!

"If—If you want." Another sob. "I have the time."

Dammit, Leonora.

She hurt… Whether out of strictly fear, or of missing him too soon or both, she was hurting. Palom sat up with her. Slowly he moved, sitting behind her and wrapping his arms around her. For moment, he said nothing, merely let her cry out the words she was trying to say.

I’m sorry… For bringing you so much pain…

"Leonora… if you need to go, then go," he murmured at her ear. "…I don’t want to make you feel tethered, I… I love you. You can leave now if you want, I won’t try to make you stay."

As much as he’d love an extra hour with her, he knew that he couldn’t force it. He’d weigh her down if he did, and she needed the chance to fly.

"Tell me what you want, and I’ll accommodate."


"I leave unannounced because I don’t plan for these things usually…" she murmured against his skin. The truth this was, but not a legitimate reason. Instead, the word ‘goodbye’ picked at the scabs of her throbbing heart. "I just get up and go wherever the wind blows. It’s my partner that’s determined the schedule. Anyway… I—I don’t want to say goodbye just yet."

I want to tear away from here. The moment is over. You won’t be here when I’m back. Fuck… Even if you are, you’ll have hurt waiting for me. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She quivered in his arms, taking in a sudden, shallow breath.

I shouldn’t have stayed. This isn’t going to last. It’s going to collapse. Fuck…

"I love you," she said weakly.

He could hear it in her voice. Fear. She was scared that this was all they’d be. That there wouldn’t be anymore mornings in bed, no more nights of love and passion. He couldn’t tell exactly what she thought, but he knew she was scared that he wouldn’t want her by the time she came back.

"I love you too," he murmured. "And I’ll still love you when you come back."

Words wouldn’t be enough to make her believe it or trust him, but they might act as some kind of temporary salve.

"…You don’t have to say goodbye. But if you want to leave, then can you let me braid your hair first? ….Its more practical for travel. It won’t get caught on things or pulled by monsters as much."


She received the kiss with lips that could not melt. Her smile intact, she buried her face into the crook of his neck. "What made you think that? Have I ever done it before?"

I need to get out of here. I have to end this soon.

"Well, when you leave, you just tend to do it unannounced," he reminded her. At least in his eyes, it always felt unannounced. She had probably planned it for weeks in her head.

"…I know that it would have been easier and less painful for you to just leave while I was asleep," he sighed, one hand smoothing over the bedraggled curls of gold at her neck. "I appreciate that you stayed for the messy parts… Goodbyes aren’t easy, but at least they mean I get to kiss you one last time."



(( Okay okay so imagine your ship with Person A seated on the ground with their legs folded under them. And Person B has their head in their lap. And Person A is playing with and stroking Person B’s hair and Person B closes their eyes (and potentially falls asleep). And they’re both smiling because they’re just enjoying each other’s company in a quiet little moment.

Alternate; Person A eventually leans over to give Person B kisses. OR Person B reaches up and pulls Person A down for kisses (depending on whichever fits your ship better ohoho). ))


"Yeah," she lied, glancing to the window and the curtains that blocked out the sun. "I had plenty. I probably don’t remember them, though. I’m shit at dream recollection. I used to keep a journal when I was seventeen, but I never could catch ‘em."

I just don’t want to ruin our last moments with my whining.

He was a bit groggy to notice the way her eyes averted and fled to the curtains rather than to stay locked with his own. He pressed a small, sleepy kiss to her lips.

"Mmm… I’m glad you stayed this morning… I thought you were going to sneak away in the night. Thank you…"


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